Apparently I have rules for walking

As I have mentioned a few times recently, I have been doing a lot of walking. All this walking has given me some time and fodder for the general etiquette of sharing the streets. Here we go, kids. Take notes.

1. When walking past someone on the sidewalk, it is courteous to say "hello" or "good morning" or even "howdy" as my dad likes to say. If you aren't the vocal type, a small head nod, smile or the half-wave works too. But to pretend like I don't exist is just rude. Wearing head phones does not exempt you from this. You can still see me.
2. If you have the sidewalk to yourself, walk wherever you like. But when approaching someone head on, follow the rules of the road! Take the right side, just like when driving.
3. If you are walking two abreast and are approaching someone on a narrow sidewalk, one of the two of you should step behind the other or step into the street. Again, follow the rules of the road.
4. If I am pushing a stroller and we will not be able to comfortably pass one another on the sidewalk, please be kind and step aside. My monstrosity is agile enough, but it is much easier if just let me through without having to make any complicated maneuvers. I will certainly pay you the same respect when your turn comes.
5. When approaching someone while you are walking with a dog, keep yourself between the dog and the stranger. Not everyone does this, but many people are afraid of dogs and I think this is just nice.
6. Speaking of dogs, pick up their poop. Or at a minimum, get it off any walking area.
7. If you know someone behind you is moving faster, it would be nice if you just let them pass you. Nothing makes me anxious like walking right behind someone for a long stretch because they speed up right when I am about to pass them.
8. Oh, I love the awkwardness of passing the same person twice. This happens frequently when walking a loop in the opposite direction of someone else. To say "hi" again or not? I say yes. Or go for the smile the second time around.
9. I appreciate, although it is not necessary, when runners let me know when they are going to pass me from behind.
10. Bikers, get off the sidewalk. If there are absolutely no people around, then fine, ride on the sidewalk, But unless you are a kid, leave the sidewalks for people. In my city there are bike lanes everywhere. Use them.

Why the heck did I get all worked up over walking?

oreos are the devil's food.

Apparently after I was born all my hair fell out. It didn't matter since I was so adorable. But now my poor baby Ana is starting to lose her fuzzy hair and it is making me ridiculously sad. I know it will grow back but I just love it and I don't want it to go away.

------

I ate Oreos today. A lot of them. Enough to make me throw away the rest of the package just so that I wouldn't eat those too. Wasting food was the lesser of two evils in this situation. Some days I make good decisions, some days I eat Oreos. Luckily when my husband got home he refused to let me wallow in my afternoon of bad decisions and we walked to the grocery store to pick up dinner.

Although it was a little chilly after the sun went down, it was a gorgeous evening for walking. Early in our marriage Brandon and I used to walk all the time. Although we lived in a nice condo complex, it was near some more "interesting" parts of town. Our regular walk included passing by a liquor store and tattoo parlor. I love walking with my husband because it gives us uninterrupted time to talk with one another. There are no distractions, just us talking. In those early days we talked about finances, weekend plans and hopes for our future. Today the topics are the same, but the details are different. We have filled in many of the blanks. I love the challenging walks I do with my mom for their exercise value. But I cherish the walks with my husband for the value they add to our relationship.

------

I absolutely love the weather we have been having in Northern California. With the exception of yesterday's blustery weather which drove me to the mall, it has been sunny and warm. It has been great for me so that I can get out of the house for all those walks. But I have been a Californian long enough to know that any day now could mean rain. And that rain could last until May. Like last year. So I am cautious about my joy for the sun.

yes, i have twins

I went to the mall this afternoon with my mom and sister. It was the first time I have taken the girls out for an extended period of time. Most of the times I have been in public we have carried them in Baby Bjorns or in their carseats.

Apparently my monstrosity of a twin stroller is a magnet. When I walked past people I heard them whisper (mostly) nice things like "twins" or "how cute, they are twins!" But honestly, several people actually said to me, "You have twins!"

How am I supposed to respond to that? Because, obviously. I know I have twins. And you didn't ask me a question or even give me a statement I can refute. You may as well have told me I wear glasses. Because I know that, too. But then they stare as if they expect me to have a response other than "yup."

I am now accepting recommendations for clever remarks.

I also learned today that a lot of mothers on maternity leave and/or stay at home moms spend their time at the mall. I could not believe how many women with babies there were! Let me tell you, I am happy that I haven't been spending time at the mall. In one fell swoop I spent more money than I care to admit to the internet. It was definitely a nice afternoon to get out and pick up a few fun things, but my bank account can't afford that kind of entertainment!

Mushy post ahead

This morning I got into Brandon's car and was reminded how much I love him.

In the beginning of our relationship there were a lot of typical romantic acts-- flowers, gifts and surprise dates. Brandon and I spent most of our early years in a long distance relationship and so we wrote dozens of letters to each other. In my crafting days I made him picture frames, clocks and a message in a bottle. While preparing to spend a semester abroad, I wrote Brandon a note or got him a little gift for each day I would be gone, each in it's own labeled envelope, stored in a box that I had mod podged with photos and magazine cut outs. We were young, in love and we cherished those ways of showing our feelings for one another.

As Brandon and I grew, our relationship matured and we learned to show our love in other ways. I love the unexpected text message or the way he grabs for my hand when we are walking. When he lets me watch trashy, reality television instead of a sporting event or when I get to pick the movie I am reminded that he loves me. A few years ago he woke up early and covered the mirror in our dining room with love song lyrics written in red pen. There are moments when I watch him with our daughters that are as precious as any gift he as given me.

And then there was today when I was moved so deeply. You see, although Brandon has always loved to shower with me flowers, DVDs and other things he knows I like, his favorite way to show how he feels is through music. Since we started dating in 2000, Brandon has been making "mix tapes" about our relationship. He names them and picks out music to describe how he feels at a particular point in time. They often include songs that I love, even if they are not his favorite.

Several years ago I stopped listening to music in my car and opted instead for talk radio. From morning until night there is usually some talk show that I am happy to listen to. But this morning Brandon and I traded cars and he had last been listening to a CD he had made in a series he calls "The Brandon and Erin Story." I have heard the CD many times and it may be my favorite of all the CDs he has compiled. As I was driving I was moved to tears as I realized how lucky I am. Brandon doesn't just pick songs to fill time. He picks songs that mean something. I was reminded of how deeply he knows me and loves me. Cheesy as it sounds, I felt wrapped up in love. I literally had a warm, fuzzy feeling.

I felt like I had opened a love letter; it was intimate. As I listened to each song I tried to remember what about them would make Brandon choose it for a CD about us. As always there are songs from Dave Matthews Band and others of our favorite artists. I laughed when it got to "Love Bug" by the Jonas Brothers-- Brandon's snarky acknowledgement of my brief and misguided obsession with the silly song. Then there are songs like Better Than Ezra's "Breathless" and Live's "Hold Me Up" that literally floor me with their emotion.*

With Valentine's Day less than a week away, it is easy to get caught up in thinking about flowers, jewelry and romance. But I don't need any of those gifts to know how incredibly blessed I am. Our new family is the incarnation of our love, and Brandon is constantly writing the soundtrack to our life.

I love you Mushy.

*If you have never heard either of these songs, you need to check them out. Really. Go. Now.

Super Bowl

I was listening to the news on the radio the other day when I heard an AP story reporting that Usher and Slash would be surprise guests for the halftime show during the Super Bowl this weekend... can we really call it a surprise if it is being announced in national media four days before the big event?

In separate Super Bowl news, my extended family was discussing Super Bowl as a holiday on Facebook and someone posted this article from the LA Times about why the Super Bowl may be moving permanently to President's Day weekend. I am not sure the best way to honor our country's leaders and history is to usurp the weekend with football. I think enough people have a hard enough time remembering why we have a few Mondays off in February as it is; add the Super Bowl into the mix and we might as well stop teaching history to fifth graders and educate them instead on first downs and the arguments over instant replay.

Then the article went on to talk about how the NFL has been so successful at increasing viewership of the Super Bowl, saying: "Over the last decade, the NFL and its TV partners have undertaken several initiatives – some noisy and others subtle – designed not only to boost the league’s fan base, but its stature in the country as well. These moves have included aggressively promoting the NFL to women, creating more big events beyond the Super Bowl and not being shy about making the watching of a football game seem like a patriotic act." (Joe Flint, LA Times Online, 2/4/11)

Really? NFL fans watch the Super Bowl because they like football. I could be wrong, but I think that non-NFL fans watch the Super Bowl for two reasons: the commercials and the half-time show. This is the only time--ever--that we rush to the TV to watch the commercials instead of fast forwarding through them. And I have certainly would never watch football to feel patriotic. We all know that baseball is the American pasttime... Plus I want to know how they count these viewers, because I have been at a lot of Super Bowl parties in recent years, but I can't tell you that I actually watched the Super Bowl. Half the fun of the Super Bowl is the food and the football pool. The best kind of winning is when you win money for arbitrarily writing your name in a box.

All my complaining aside, we are hosting a Super Bowl party this year. Now if I only knew who was playing...

ice cream and such

I miss ice cream.

I ate ice cream every day of my pregnancy. Literally. EVERY DAY.

And then my kids came out and didn't like dairy in their milk. Ironic much? I gave up all things dairy and cried a good bye to cheese, yogurt and ice cream.

I miss ice cream... *sigh*

------

In other news my girls are growing like crazy. They are 13 weeks old and have doubled in weight. They both smile all the time and it melts my heart. At the risk of jinxing it all, they are sleeping wonderfully. Ana sleeps at least eight hours and Grace sleeps between five and seven hours. I think she would sleep longer if we let her sleep on her stomach, but I have let the hype get to me so she will sleep on her back until she can roll herself.

Question for moms: how do we know when to transition to sleeping unswaddled? We tried one night with Ana and she was so squiggly that we wrapped her right back up.

------

I love February. It is a month for birthdays and Valentines and it comes right before my most favorite month of the year. This year it is extra special because it is the last month I will be home with my girls. I am savoring every moment.

On "the twins"

We never call our girls "the twins."

When I found out we were having two babies I started to think about all the twins I knew and the twins I had taught. I thought about what things I thought were special and what things I didn't like about how some had been raised.

The one thing I knew was that I wanted my girls to have their own identities and to be their own people. Even if they were identical in every way, we wanted them to know that they were unique to us. So Brandon and I decided from the beginning that we would never call them "the twins." Through 33 weeks of pregnancy and in 13 weeks of life we have been successful. We say "the girls" and occasionally "the babies" (for unrelated reasons it is also a pet peeve of mine to call a baby "the baby" all the time instead of using his or her name, so usually I don't use "babies" very much either). We also call them by individual name. I don't want them to be collectively branded for life.

I believe in this individuality so strongly that when we thought they would be identical, I was against dressing them the same. I didn't want to impose that upon them. (HAHA. Little did I know that once it was clear they were fraternal I would go crazy in wanting to match them! Hypocrite much? But there is something cute about having matching babies...)

There is loads of research and opinions on how to raise twins. I am still scratching the surface. But I do believe this: while twins are certainly special, I don't want their twinness to be what defines them in life. Our girls will have a unique relationship, distinct from other singleton siblings, but we will raise them as unique beings, just as we would have raised two daughters who were born at separate times. We hope to cultivate their special relationship while giving them the space to grow as individuals.