Monday, March 15, 2010

The case of the lawnmower

Although I was tired of living so close to my neighbors, there were advantages to living in a condo. One of the best features was that ALL of the landscaping was taken care of. I was free to kill my potted plants as I wished, but the lawn, trees, shurubbery and flowers were all well manicured (and alive) because someone else was taking care of them. When we bought our house we knew that yard maintenance came with the deal, but really, how hard can it be?

We moved into our house in December when grass doesn’t grow. Which was convenient because we didn’t own a lawnmower and didn’t have extra money to buy one. But in the last couple of weeks the weather has changed daily, from spring rains to glorious sun, making my lawn believe it was time to grow. I looked around last week and realized we were becoming the trashy neighbors... everyone else had beautifully manicured lawn. We did not.

After weeks of procrastinating our purchase, we went to Sears yesterday afternoon to buy a lawnmower. Here is how the afternoon went:

1. We buy a lawnmower.
2. We assemble the lawnmower. Mostly I read Brandon the instructions, but that must be helping.
3. We look proudly at our accomplishment and Brandon tries to move it from driveway to lawn. Mower doesn’t move. Mower has a bum wheel.
4. Brandon’s blood pressure rises and I quickly escape into the house as I shout to call Sears. It is his lawnmower... he should have to call, right?
5. We load assembled lawn mower into car. I am terrified because there is gas in that sucker and I am convinced it will blow up. I have a general mistrust for engines.
6. We awkwardly exchange mower.
7. We assemble new mower. I am an expert now and help more.
8. Brandon starts mowing lawn and rolls ankle in the rock garden. He has hardly mowed 25% of the lawn.
9. I fear I will have to push the death machine to finish mowing the grass. Husband rallies and hobbles through.
10. I admire the lawn because it looks pretty.

I am happy not to be the trashy neighbors anymore.

Unless you walk around back and see that we still have not put up the fence that fell down in January and instead are using that bright orange security fence. Classy, I know.


  1. OMG! Hilarious! We bought a lawnmower 2 years ago that had a bum wheel when we bought it ... and it never quite got fixed. I'm off to buy a new one this year ... hopefully one without problems in the on-set! :) Thanks for making me smile this morning!

  2. #5 is hilarious considering you work for Toyota. I love mowing the lawn. It is the bets house work there is.