Tuesday, May 17, 2011

People are going to get pretend angry now and unfollow me

It took me awhile to come around to the Twitter. I had all sorts of fears about hashtags and understanding how the Twitter worked. In the last month or so I have embraced the Twitter and spend way too much time tweeting. Don't get me wrong, I find the Twitter immensely entertaining. There are a lot of people that I love following. In fact if those people unfollow me I will be hunting them down in twitterville. But there is much about Twitter that bothers me too. Let me share:
  1. Most people on Twitter don't know each other in real life. After years of "stranger danger!" and "you don't know who people really are on the internet" I guess I didn't expect for there to be so many friendships based on blogs and 140-character tweets. There are certainly several Twitterers (and Twatters...) who I would like to know in real life, but for the most part Twitter is like "Second Life" with relationships that would never have existed if it wasn't for the internet.
  2. Tweeters (WTF is the correct term for a person who tweets?) are passive-aggressive. There is an awful lot of gossip and cruelty between the women. And the use of "DM" to imply that there is a direct message being sent is cruel, as it can only make every other woman wonder, "Is she talking about ME?!"
  3. There are cliques. Just like in seventh grade. Getting into the clique requires wearing the right outfit, knowing the right friends, having the cutest blog design and having the right number of blog followers.
  4. Are there even any men on Twitter?
  5. The answer is yes. The one man I know in real life who uses Twitter left his fiance for a woman he met ON TWITTER. So happy my husband prefers to "tweet" his 140-character thoughts on his blog. Also, that guy is a douche bag (the cheater. not my husband)
  6. Twitter is, for some people, where they get all of their support and advice. While on occasion I need some love from the internet, I cannot comprehend turning to the Twitter for all things going on in my life. I have my husband, my mom, my sister and my fabulous, fabulous friends to cry with, to laugh with and to talk to when I am looking for emotional support. Yet somedays my Twitter feed looks like a mom's support group.
  7. I know more about some of the people I follow on Twitter than I do about my self. Boundaries, people.
  8. There are a lot of people without a good sense of humor. I tweet things that are hilarious and I get nothing. Post some inane tweet? 20 responses. What the hell?
  9. What made you want to follow me anyway? I am some random chick in California with some babies and a job. Why yes, I DO think I am an awesome friend. But when it comes to the internet, I am a nobody. So for the most part I think you just want to follow me in hopes that I will read your blog and give you more followers.
  10. Yes, your life is awesome. Yes, we all wish we could be you. Yes, we will now all tweet at you about how amazing your life is so you can feel warm and fuzzy while the rest of us quietly throw up in our mouths a little bit.
  11. No, this is not about you.


  1. i fucking love this. couldn't have said it better myself. now i'm going to DM you who i think this is about.



  2. This makes me glad I don't have a Twitter Machine. I don't know that I could handle all of this online etiquette.

    I have something I'm working on to piggyback off this, so I'm glad you wrote it. It gives me insight on a piece of social media that doesn't interest me whatsoever.

  3. I know what you mean. I sometimes feel outside the loop or popular clique. Why do we women do this to ourselves? Ha!

  4. I actually didn't know anything about twitter up until this moment... I actually thought it was used by people to follow famous peoples movements around. This sounds like something interesting... but the whole women gossip thing scares me a bit and I'm not funny nor do I have a blog. Hmmm, but I feel like I really need to be totally up to date on all that is technology so my kids can't do anything crazy.

  5. That was Allison C by the way :)

  6. What about the "your kid is ugly" part?

    You know how much I love this. And you.

    Amen, my friend. Who I actually know in REAL LIFE.

  7. Ahaha....Too funny! I'm still trying to figure twitter and tweetdeck and all out. But I have noticed the "cliques"! I laughed out loud over this post!

  8. This was the funniest post I've read in a long time. Especially because it's true!

  9. Too funny! Becky was telling me about "this funny twitter post" she read so I HAD to come check it out! Very funny..and very true. Love your blog, by the way, your littles ones are adorable!

    Now, I'm going to go follow you...no pressure or anything ;)

  10. I don't know you in real life, it's true. But I'm honored to be part of the Twat Club. And one day, I hope to share a beer in person.

    And I know I'm all that and a bag of chips (sarcasm), but I hope I never make you throw up in your mouth.