Friday, February 18, 2011

In which I try not to steal things

Bumbos and Boppys, swings and slings: there are hundreds of gadgets and devices to figure out when you become a new parent. But the one that is going to get me into some trouble is none other than the stroller.

Oh, I could write pages upon pages about the difficulty of picking a stroller for twins, but I will leave that for another day. Today we talk about how I fear that using a stroller will lead to my arrest for shoplifting. Watch out Lindsay Lohan: I am about to make local news for accidentally stealing clearance baby items from Target or Kohl's.

It takes both hands to push a stroller the size of an elephant. So on the few occasions that I have escaped for retail therapy with my girls, I have struggled with how to hold my merchandise. I have tried holding hangers in my fingers or hung on the handle. I have draped clothing over my arms. I carefully balanced a shoe box on the cupholder, praying that it wouldn't fall off and hit my baby in the face.

Last week I almost walked out of Macy's with unpaid merchandise because I remembered it was there.

So please, if you see me on the local news, someone come bail me and my stroller out of jail. I will be the one staring at my double stroller, wondering how to break it down.


  1. Oh just wait until their little hands start grabbing from both sides as you walk through stores! While xmas shopping at Arden I discovered Connor had aquired a new stuffed animal. And ofcourse I didn't notice until we were inside a Calendar store with no stuffed animals in sight. I quietly put it on a shelf of calendars and did the walk of shame out of the store. :)

  2. The sad/funny part is many, many, many of our shoplifters use their strollers as places to stash product. It's sad, but effective. And if any of us ask the ignomious, "Would you like a bag for that?" question, the guilty ones lump themselves in with the innocents and reply, "Oh, my! I didn't even know that was there!"

  3. yikes! avoid draping things!

    i'm a bit of a cluts...i have accidentally walked out of stores with earrings and a tank on hanger (yes you read right) hooked onto my purse/bag in crowded aisles and the security device at the doors didn't go off!

    also i accidentally walked out with pants draped on the arm of my winter coat and the security beeped and i showed my bags, but they pointed to my arm so i could only apologize, as i was stunned myself! i was carrying my purse, gym bag, and shopping bag so i think when i'm carrying too many things i should avoid stores, as i obviously get distracted.