Tuesday, March 29, 2011

This is not your home, so put away the phone and get your business over with

Things I hate about public restrooms:

When there is nowhere to hang a purse. My purse is like a Mary Poppins bag. I have enough items in my purse to help me survive for at least 7-10 days after a nuclear holocaust. I have no intention of doing my business with the purse awkwardly hanging from my shoulder. But you can bet there is no way I am putting my purse on the floor.
When people pull out too many toilet seat covers and then shove the extras back in. Fact: no one wants to use those once you have touched them. They are wasted. Trash. I am not saying it is very ecofriendly or even the right thing to do, but I am guessing that most people don’t use the already touched ones. Same goes for toilet paper-- don't try to re-roll it. I AM NOT USING IT ONCE YOU TOUCHED IT.
When the floor is wet. Public bathrooms are sketchy anyway, but wet floors make me want to yack. I don’t understand it—does the toilet leak? Did someone miss the 10x14 hole that badly? That water is nasty and I don't want my shoes in it. YUCK.
Toilet paper sitting on the floor. Even when the floor isn't covered in sketchy water, that floor is not clean. If it was on the bottom of your shoe, I do NOT want it near any openings to my body.

How long people take. What are you doing in there? I don't understand what takes so long. I have had people comment on my swiftness because I get in and out. There is no reason to linger, especially when there is a line. Get off your phone and let me pee, dammit.

Unflushed toilets. I am all about water conservation... except when it means that I have to see the business you just conducted. FLUSH. THE. TOILET. And even more, I hate when people won't use a stall because the toilet isn't flushed. I repeat: FLUSH. THE. TOILET. While I can't stand that someone left me with an unsightly reminder of their presence, there is no need for the next ten people to witness it too. Do the rest of us a favor, flush and move on.

What do you hate about public restrooms?


  1. The squatters. I get that some people don't want to sit, so they squat. Fine. But when they pee all over the seat, and then leave it there? EW. Infuriates me every time.

  2. @erin and @jess the toilet seat covers, annoying, but they don't bother me so much, because, yes, i'm a squatter. but that is one gift that no none, i say NO one should give... and that that gift on the seat, what i hate about public restrooms. there is plenty of TP to clean up after yourself and no reason to leave a mess. none.
    pet peeve number 2: wet toilet paper or paper towels. defeats the purpose if you ask me.
    pet peeve number 3: if i need to straddle the seat to close the door, maybe the stall could be a bit bigger. #notinkindergardenanymore (that's in regards to the twitter blog entry)

  3. I, too, detest squatters (when they don't clean up after themselves). I mean, ew. I really don't want to clean up your pee.

    I hate having a toddler in public restrooms. They. Touch. Everything. Now that my kid is 6, she's better, but I've turned my back and found her sitting. EW.

  4. I didn't hate ooky public restrooms so much till I had a very little boy who goes potty. So I've spent heaps of time in various public bathrooms lately. And my dear sweet boy has to take off his pants and shoes so he can hold on to the seat and balance o with his legs wide enough apart so the pee actually goes in the toilet. I'm counting the inches till he's tall enough to stand up! I'm "THIS CLOSE" to carrying Clorox wipes.

  5. My favorite part of being a SAHM was NOT having to use public restrooms.

    I swear though, the quickest way to cure you of all things germ-related is to take your girls into a public restroom. They can touch everything and survive, which makes me feel better about my own longevity.

  6. Hey! New here...love your blog! You made me LOL for real about the shoving the covers back in. Freaking great. I had a flash of myself contemplating the paper-cover dispenser, weighing my options "touch somebody's old one or squat?" Always a predicament. Hysterical.

  7. Erin you crack me up and I totally agree with all of them!!